friends of a certain age.

{images: roman muradov}

i recently came across a NYT article on one of my favorite blogs – a cup of jo – that really hit home: why is it so hard to make friends (over 30)?

while i am not yet 30 (yep, i may be in my late 20s now, but i still have a few more years in my 20s!) making friends post-college has been a challenge. this is not to say that i don’t have friends. however, i often feel friend-less day-to-day. the vast majority of my close friends (& family) live in different states & thus different time zones, & the close friends i have in seattle feel distant as most are in completely different parts of their life (i.e., babies, jobs, single). i realize all of these folks are just a phone call away, but i am old-school & prefer in-person conversations to over the phone (or even skype really). plus, shouldn’t everyone have that one (or two, or three) person that is close enough to have over & discuss the ins & outs of everyday life (spouses not included)?

as i read this NYT article, i noticed a few things that applied to me: (1) i transferred from one college to another as a junior; (2) i don’t work (yet); and (3) i got married at age 25. now i have to wonder: have i completely set myself up for a future without (close, in-town) friends?

aaron & i have talked about joining some kind of group where were would meet people (or couples) that are interested in similar things, like a trivia group, co-ed flag football, or a bowling league, but, for whatever reason, we just haven’t pulled the trigger. perhaps this blog post will be the catalyst.

the other issue i find difficult is whether i can maintain a relationship with a friend who isn’t part of a couple. it is so much easier to find time to hang out when each spouse is friends with the male or female counterpart of the friend – true? since i have been married (or even since i was dating aaron), i have found myself searching for a couple to be friends with, as opposed to just one person. perhaps this is too limiting.

i would love your two-cents on this subject: have you struggled to make new friends as an adult?


5 thoughts on “friends of a certain age.

  1. oh, mish…how i understand what you are going through. we had this same problem in wisconsin and utah…luckily we found one couple in each state that both eric and i felt comfortable with. it’s so hard to find friends (just a girlfriend or a couple friend), but knowing you and aaron, it will happen. i love the idea of you guys joining some kind of group; what a great idea! or i think you should move to boise and you two can hang out with us!!! (: I swear we’re not a completely boring couple who only talks about the baby (only sometimes (; ).

  2. You are far from alone on this subject. This really hits home. We’ve been in Florida for 5 years and still come back to this same conversation time and time again. I have found some good girlfriends here but a couple have already moved away. We hang out with friends from work, Greg’s work mostly, but there are few that have kids, which makes it even more difficult. I feel like people we meet already have an established group of friends here and it’s hard to be the new couple/family joining those groups. I would love to get involved with some sort of social group, preferably with others who have kids, but it’s no secret that Greg isn’t the most social butterfly, so it is hard. I know how you guys feel. I so wish we lived closer, rather than in the two most furthest states from each other!! xoxo

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